Equity precludes greatness. Consequently, great music is ideologically problematic. That is to say, it must be abolished. Rather than waste time nibbling at the edges, we may as well start by canceling Beethoven. Varsity, the student newspaper of the University of Cambridge, considers this proposal:
When Vox published an article describing Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony as “a reminder of classical music’s history of exclusion and elitism”, the right-wing media threw up a storm over it and declared it “woke madness”, with even Ben Shapiro offering his own “delicate” response. In light of the recent #MeToo and BLM movements, Beethoven’s symbolic nature as the potentially prototypical ‘pale, male and stale’ composer has become ever more prominent. The feminist musicologist Susan McClary infamously compared the recapitulation in his Ninth Symphony to “the throttling murderous rage of a rapist incapable of attaining release”. Is it therefore time to throw the whole man out? If we ‘cancelled’ Beethoven, wouldn’t that eventually result in a more diverse, inclusive and accessible classical music scene?
The author then attempts to associate Beethoven with German nationalism on the grounds that Germans have understandably been proud of him. He demonstrates the level of intellectual sophistication of the elitist savages tearing our culture down by calling Beethoven’s fellow giant Richard Wagner a “buttmunch.”
But maybe Ludwig Van can escape cancelation after all:
The question of “Was Beethoven Black?” keeps resurfacing over 100 years after being first proposed.
Unless we pretend he was black, we may have to cancel him:
Being a guaranteed ticket-seller and donor pleaser, he keeps reappearing in concert programmes to the exclusion of other, more diverse composers.
The author then explicitly calls for the “cancelling” of “composers like Beethoven” — i.e., great composers, arguably all of whom were European men.
Canceling Beethoven alone solves nothing:
[R]emoving Beethoven from the scene would only result in a different ‘pale, male and stale’ composer (e.g. Mozart) taking his symbolic place.
The reader is left to conclude that all great music must be abolished. Due to the decay that is expressed in politics through liberalism and in the arts through postmodernism, virtually no music that even deserves to be called classical has been composed outside of Eastern Europe for decades. All we have to do is delete the catalog of all that came before us. That will enable a glorious utopian future of non-Caucasians generating meaningless noise.
Progressives are waging total war against Western Civilization. The war will not end until either liberalism or everything we could conceivably take pride in or find meaning in has been eradicated.
On a tip from Lyle.